Premarital Counseling Clients Resources:
To understand why we need attachment in deeply connected relationships, and how learned secure attachment benefits us physically, neurologically, and emotionally. For me, these perks are what drive us to be in committed, deeply connected long-term relationships, despite all the hardship.
The Neurobiology of 'We': How Relationships, the Mind, and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are Audible Audiobook – Original Recording
To discover how we draw our partner in unconsciously and the source of the initial “heavenly” attraction. This book was written in the 80s and is pre-Esther Perel and many recent “love experts”. But I really trust its sources as it is based on research of many couples sessions and interviews. The genogram part is wild- how the couples’ family dynamics, across generations, actually match in many ways. Aren’t you curious about the family imprint on your selection of mates and what is your developmental task in this lifetime in this relationship?
Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage Paperback – September 2, 2008
by Maggie Scarf
If you are spiritual or growth-oriented, you may discover a path to love that expands beyond your couple-hood and romantic love. Read on or listen on to get yourself prepared to transcend your love bond and continue to grow as a couple, as each other’s guru- spiritual guide.
8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go- audiobook.
by Jay Shetty.
For monogamous and/or non-monogamous couples, this book summarizes attachment theory beautifully. The “HEART” practice helps you to polish your love bond and keep it shining. The workbook in the buddle makes it easy to follow the steps and you can bring it with you on your honeymoon trip.
The Complete Polysecure Bundle Paperback – March 17, 2023
by Jessica Fern
Every relationship encounters the issue of boundaries at some point, actually from the very beginning, and never ends. This book has some very down-to-earth guidance and thought-provoking topics for you and your partner to go through. If you are familiar with Joining and I-I (my couple clients would), use these formats to go over these topics. This is a must-do task premaritally.
Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity Paperback
– February 3, 2004
by Shirley P. Glass (Author), Jean Coppock Staeheli (Contributor)
Tell Me No Lies Paperback – December 14, 2001
by Ellyn Bader Ph.D. (Author), Peter T. Pearson Ph.D. (Author), Judith D. Schwartz (Author)
Specialty readings:
For ADHD-impacted relationships:
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Paperback – September 1, 2010
by Melissa Orlov (Author), Edward M. Hallowell (Foreword)
Mastering Your Adult ADHD: A Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment Program, Client Workbook (Treatments That Work) 2nd Edition
by Steven A. Safren (Author), Susan E. Sprich (Author), Carol A. Perlman (Author), Michael W. Otto (Author)
My professional YouTube channel has a playlist dedicated to this topic - Living and Loving Your Loved Ones with ADHD:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLca1AOsulbmrEYdxKeivuSpXeNgJpR4Sw&si=Clu6BQPfQ02Ry5xG
For daily inspiration and self-regulation, and personal growth:
The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness Hardcover – March 30, 2010
by Pema Chodron (Author)
For those who are healing from childhood adverse experiences:
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma Paperback – December 13, 2013
by Pete Walker (Author)
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback – June 1, 2015
by Lindsay C. Gibson (Author)
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Paperback – September 8, 2015
by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. (Author)
For those who are co-parents / dating a co-parent:
Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce Paperback – Illustrated, May 4, 2010
by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll (Author)